05/29/2026
I swear i cant make this s**t up... and yes... it really was as comical as youre currently picturing it in your head while reading it. The boys were in the yard having some grass munchy time today while I was standing there watching them... and i will preface this by saying, in OUR yard. Thats a pretty vital part. Miss Jen (the old lady neighbor) came outside just a hooting and a hollering "YOU BETTER NOT EAT MY GRASS YOU SCARY MFER"
"GO-ON, Get!" And i mean a HOOTIN and a HOLLERIN All because Retro had stepped foot onto our driveway for a meer 30 seconds, which happens to join up to their yard. Yes... the same neighbors that stood over our shoulders while we were building fence a while back to make sure we didnt go an inch over onto their property even when it was all surveyed and proved to be ours. 🙄
I peeked around the corner and was like girl what is the problem im literally right here standing with them and youre over here just losing your mind while our cows are in our yard, are they really bothering you that much? I proceeded to grab Retros horns and shake his head around and sprawled fully body weight across him while he was chewing his cud and asked if my big ol teddy bear really looked that scary.
She followed up with "well its bothering my husband!" And I was like theyre literally in our yard and even IF they had stepped foot over there for 5 seconds and ate a bite of YOUR grass its not a catastrophic end of the world😅 all you do is mow it every other tuesday. (And no, its not one of those show quality lawns like youre thinking... we live in the middle of the woods... we cant hardly grow grass🤣)
She then went in with her sob story about how our animals stink, are loud, were teaching our kids to disrespect them too because we let them be loud when they play outside?¿ (be so forreal)
And I was like come stand here at the driveway and we can talk about it instead of screaming across properties, lord ill be if I didnt get called every name in the book.
She then started hootin and a hollering about how she aint gonna come stand there and talk to me but my husband should grow a pair and come talk to her husband...
I was like you guys act like were horrible neighbors to you when we've done nothing but respect you all, even when yall are just being crazy.
(We've had the cops called on us by them for "walking our yaks" on a halter on OUR PROPERTY, because it puts them (the neighbors) in risk of danger.) Yall our cows are the sweetest things and we take pride in how well trained they are.
She then told me her whole lifes story while calling me a see you next tuesday, a biotch, a hoe...
And lord i know I ground her little gears when the only thing i said in response is that I could finally check getting called a CU-NT by a cute little old lady off my bucket list cause she stormed off into the house and now her an Jimbob are yelling at each other and peeking out the window every 5 seconds to make sure Rets not eating a single blade of grass owned by them. 🫠😩
God forbid we use our own yard and driveway how we please guys.
Pic of my soaking wet muddy boy being the goodest boy and not eating a single blade of her grass 🤞🏻😂
