09/09/2025
Today would have been Jim-E’s 17th Birthday.
If you ever met him you might remember how tall and regal he was, how fine his fiber was, how watchful he was of me and his pasture mates, and if he chose to walk with you on a hike what perfect manners he had.
He crossed the Rainbow Bridge on July 22nd, 2025. It was very, very sad, but not tragic. It was the last stage of a very long goodbye.
I wasn’t ready to share this news right away. It was a different kind of process to let go. To feel the edges of my pain and edges of my relief. A wise neighbor told me it’s ok take my time to make sense of things. To “speak from my scars, not from my wounds”.
We saw it coming about a year and a half ago. It started with a kind of wonky walk where Jim-E’s left leg seemed loose jointed. Our veterinarian took X-rays and examined him that winter which showed advanced arthritis and some ligament damage. Other than that he was fine getting around the pasture, eating, drinking, pooping, peeing, lying down and getting up. However his hiking days were over.
With my regular llama veterinarian's consent, I consulted with another veterinarian from out of state who has experience with her own geriatric llamas. She gave me good advice on diet, supplements and medication to keep him as comfortable as possible for as long as possible.
In the meantime we did experience tragic goodbyes to llama Carbon in February of 2024 and llama Eduardo in July 2024. My heart was breaking but Jim-E stoically carried on.
By spring of 2025 his discomfort was evident. I kept him close to the barn and brought his food and water to him through the day. On a side note Gunner became Jim-E’s best buddy enjoying round the clock room service. They were inseparable.
Toward the end of March he had a Reiki session and an animal empath who has known my llamas for years came to do a reading. She said he was getting tired but not showing stress signs like he was ready to go. Though stoic with obvious pain, he seemed relaxed and engaged with ears perked forward most of the time.
Early summer heat was a challenge for all of us. Mostly I stayed home to nurse him and love him. We developed an intimate relationship and routine of sitting together for grooming and telepathically sharing memories. By mid July Jim-E started to lose interest in eating his grain, preferring hay, and snacks of baby carrots and kale from the garden. He was becoming even thinner and getting down into kushed position was very painful to watch.
Then on July 21st around dusk on a beautiful northwest breeze, bluebird sky kind of day I knew it was time.
Llama Eddie 4-legs gave me a sign... Jim-E was uncomfortable and had tried to stand up to stretch and rearrange his legs, he stumbled backwards into his kush posture and then was unable to get up. The same way and in the same place as Eduardo on his last evening... that was July 17th, 2024.
I texted our veterinarian on the spot and told her it was time to let Jim-E go. We made an appointment for 8:30 the next morning.
It was a mild and pleasant evening, with no bad weather in the forecast, so I wasn’t concerned that he might have to spend the night outdoors in the paddock. I gave him a generous dose of Banamine for pain.
Overnight Jim-E moved into the garage side of the barn to his favorite daytime vantage point. I gave him a second dose of Banamine at 3 am.
I awoke before dawn, showered and dabbed a little lavender essential oil behind my ears as I often did in our llama lake walk days before heading outside. He gave me a sniff and accepted some below his ears too 💜.
Repeating to myself: Remember to breathe. At least it’s a beautiful day and not an emergency.
Our vet arrived at appointed time and Jim-E transitioned peacefully to the other side. My husband Ed and son Tim were present too with their love and support.
Afterwards I sat alone with Jim-E on the barn floor leaning on his still warm body. Remembering with love leaking out of my freshly broken heart.
Sad. Relieved. Grateful.
R.I.P. Jim-E my beautiful friend, may you run free and watch over me
9/9/2008-7/22/2025
aka BHLF Extra Extra Read All About It, Eskalero x Sulame
