05/31/2026
Storytime with Chef Jacob R
So there I was.
Finished a catering job. Hadn’t eaten all day.
Amy texts me: “I’m hungry.”
Apparently after 9 PM in Caldwell every decent restaurant decides they’ve done enough for society, so I end up at Burger King.
I order two Mandalorian Bounty Bundles. They come with a Whopper, cheesy tots, chicken fries, a shake, a drink, and a special Mandalorian cup.
The cashier tells me:
“We’re out of the Mandalorian cups.”
I said:
“That’s fine. I still want the meals.”
I pay my $40 and wait.
Finally I ask for my drink cups.
She says:
“We’re out of the cups.”
I said:
“I understand you’re out of the Mandalorian cups, but the meal still comes with a drink.”
She says:
“But the cup is sold out.”
I point to a giant stack of paper cups sitting right next to her.
“Can’t you just give me one of those?”
Then a second employee joins the conversation.
Now I’ve got a panel discussion happening over Dr Pepper.
She says:
“But the Mandalorian cup comes in a bag.”
I said:
“Yes. And if you had one, I’d open the bag and fill it with soda.”
“If you give me a paper cup, I can also fill that with soda.”
Both employees stare at me like I just explained quantum physics.
Then she goes:
“Oh… I guess that’s true.”
I asked:
“If you’re out of fries, do customers just not get fries?”
She says:
“No, we substitute something else.”
I said:
“Then why wouldn’t you substitute a paper cup if you’re out of the plastic cup?”
Long pause.
“Oh yeah.”
Then after all of that she says:
“I still don’t feel comfortable, so I’m only giving you small cups.”
Small cups.
For the drinks that already came with the meals.
This is why customer service is disappearing.
I can’t believe I spent 15 minutes explaining cup substitution theory to grown adults.
And these are the same people wanting $15-$20 an hour.
I walked into Burger King expecting dinner.
Instead, I accidentally taught a college course called:
Introduction to Cups: Advanced Beverage Placement.
Tuition: $40.
