10/18/2023
Rosie’s overall health is declining and she has slowly been telling me over the last two weeks. At first, it was less standing, followed by weakness in the legs and decreased appetite. Her legs seem arthritic and now, her wings are droopy. I’m syringe feeding her with high potency formula to increase her caloric intake and energy levels, but it may not be enough for her to gain her strength and have better use of her legs, especially if there’s something chronic happening with them; there’s no treatment available for arthritis in chickens. While her blindness and old age symptoms are of no fault of hers or mine, I can’t help but feeling that I’ve somehow let her down. Maybe it’s the guilt for not letting her go while she had mobility left, which to me equates to her having some semblance of dignity. Or maybe it’s because I didn’t syringe feed her meals daily, because I wanted her to feel normal by pecking for her easy to find food in her house. Whatever the reason, I’m at a loss as to how I should say goodbye; the inevitable is heartbreaking. I wanted her to be alive when I finished the book she inspired me to start writing. I wanted her to feel the sunshine as often as possible. If there are other elderly/special needs chicken mamas out there, I would appreciate some healing words of wisdom.
