12/04/2025
Recently I was at my doctors office, and she asked what I do for exercise. I told her, “Well, we have a horse farm, so… everything.” She got all excited and said she’d just been to a conference where the hot new fitness trend sweeping gyms across America is something called ‘barn chores.’
Yes. Apparently people are now paying money to pretend they muck stalls.
So of course I started thinking: why should they go to a fake barn when they can come do the real thing at mine?
For the low, low price of $200 a month, you too can enjoy an authentic full-body farm workout. Includes:
• Mucking stalls (cardio + aromatherapy you didn’t ask for)
• Leading 1,200-lb toddlers to pasture (strength + reflex training)
Add-ons:
• $10 to apply/remove blankets (great for the shoulders AND your humility)
• $20 to groom each horse (stress reduction… unless they’re in a mood)
• $10 to pick hooves (for when you want to test your life insurance policy)
Two horses = one hour workout. Or possibly an ER visit. It’s really dealer’s choice.
It’s the healthiest fitness program around: fresh air, nature, and the constant thrill of “Will this horse bolt and take me with it?”
Honestly, I think I’m performing a public service. Why join a gym that pretends to have barn chores, when you can come to my farm and get the full, unfiltered, manure-powered experience?
Copied & pasted 🤗