06/25/2026
Reposting from my personal page, so people will know to see us here.
I ROYALLY MESSED UP...
ADHD, starting and running a business is some of the hardest things to go through, but I'm actually grateful for the path.
For months, Michael and I wrestled with what to name our farm. We needed a name to list with Sunbiz, SO we could register the business with the city, SO we could apply for a business license, SO we could get a tax ID, all to be able to become an EBT/SNAP authorized direct marketing farmer, but also to become a Fresh Access Buck Partner. SO without a name, none of this is possible.
It all reminded me of the old song There was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly. She later swallowed a bird, cat, dog, goat, cow, and a horse. At my core, my desire is simple. I just want to grow nourishing food, feed folks, and cultivate healthy communities. I loath that something so simple is so bureaucratically difficult.
One afternoon, Michael and I were having some raw conversations; I was feeling overstimulated and impatient with my self, the tone of the conversation, seeing the arduous road that laid before us, and with my creativity. I realized I needed to pause and retreat inward. I needed that moment to pray and seek guidance, get rooted, get clarity, to properly navigate out this emotional terrain. As I prayed and paused, I realized it was a refreshing spring day; there was a soothing breeze that filled our room, tousled my hair, and embraced my skin while passing through; it was accompanied with a peppy melodic serenade that drifted through our bedroom windows. It instantly, brightened my thoughts and my battery was recharged. Those were the missing ingredients and the aha moment. My prayer was answered!
I asked Michael to pause to see if he could hear it too; his face a little perplexed at my request as we stood silently in the moment. I looked in his eyes, "Do you hear that?That's it; our name!! That sound is our name!"
We hurried outside, hoping to see if we could catch a glimpse of the composer, but it had vanished.
That day, Michael listed the name with Sunbiz and purchased the domain.
Maybe 2 days later (still hyper focused on the business) at our house of worship, the spiritual leader mentioned "good seed." Immediately, I thought, "Wait... is THAT supposed to be the name?"
I mentioned it to Michael afterward, and he agreed it was a good name but thought to himself that maybe I was getting ADHD distracted; he reluctantly purchased that domain as well. Naturally, I took that as confirmation to create the social media pages, but I didn’t know he didn’t register Good Seed.
Many weeks went by, and even though I liked the name Good Seed Sowers fine enough, something kept drawing me back to that first name. Good Seed never carried the same vibrant feeling.
Everyday outside where we're growing, nature kept sending a cheerful chorus. Tiny troubadours singing their songs, faithfully carrying the answer while I was searching elsewhere. Finally, I decided to surrender to the moment again and listen.
Being a Tolkien fan, sometimes my attention struggles remind me a little of Bilbo’s Unexpected Journey. What I thought was a step forward became an adventure through possibilities, distractions, and second guesses. In the end, I found myself There and Back Again, but with a deeper appreciation for what had been there all along.
What I thought was a huge mistake turned out to be a beautiful reminder of grace.
Sometimes the path isn’t forward. Sometimes it’s a winding side quest that brings us to appreciate the path, guiding us back to the Original Source that quietly waits beneath the distractions, inviting us to be still, listen, and rediscover what has been all along. So many times I get so hyper focused that focusing in itself is the distraction that opens the flood gates to everything I’m trying to keep out.
So yes, while I royally messed up, it was a welcomed mistake. It reminded me that the gift had already been placed before us, and that the answer we had prayed for had been patiently singing all along, waiting for me to listen.
Songbird Sowers Urban Farm
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