04/25/2026
📺 As the Coop Turns: “Snow Gear Showdown”
Today on As the Coop Turns… I just wanted to clean the damn coop but Boss Chicken has been choosing violence lately.
And apparently his main target is… my 6 year old daughter.
This morning she went out in full snow gear to the barn to "help me" thinking she was safe, invincible, and probably a Disney princess.
Boss Chicken said... absolutely not.
Multiple attempted attacks later… I caught him doing the classic “dig before the strike” move and told him:
“You are NOT digging her grave… if you do it, I’m gonna be digging yours.”
He walked away.
Then came back.
And tried it again.
I also managed to get a pic of him mid flog, fully committed to the chaos.
At that point, boss chicken had a very bad morning because the chase was officially on and he knew I was playing no games.
Now I have to do what any responsible farm owner does… assert dominance… and then allow the child to gently pet him like nothing ever happened and embarrass him infront of the whole flock.
Buuuuut I can also be petty. So under my breath I kept whispering "sweet nothings" to him like... if this child wasn't standing here I'd rip your tail feathers out one by one mfer stop playing with me... one more time, one more f**kin time and straight to the crockpot for you.... that's my baby and I have an arrow with your name on it try me...
Let's hope he see's the error of his ways and can return to being employee of the month before he ends up being dinner.
Yes, her snow gear worked as rooster defense armor and no, I didn't get to clean the coop because I had to walk her back down to the house. So back to the barn I go... alone this time... and he should be very afraid because I'm still mad and now behind schedule due to his nonsense...
