09/01/2026
UPDATE: THE PLOT THICKENS.
A few weeks ago, I found a suspiciously large bone on the farm and began mentally preparing for my inevitable appearance on Dateline.
Chris assured me it wasn’t human.
Fine.
WELL, CHRIS.
Returned to the scene and found MORE BONES. AND A SHOE.
A. SHOE.
At this point, I feel like we are approximately three discoveries away from Keith Morrison standing at the end of the driveway saying, “But then… she found the shoe.”
Chris remains irritatingly unconcerned.
I’m just over here rehearsing:
“It was a quiet little farm. We never thought something like this could happen here…”
Anyway, I will be minding my business and absolutely not digging any deeper.
Rooted in Real Life. Apparently also rooted in evidence. 💀😂
Disclaimer for the internet: I am fully aware these are animal bones. No humans were harmed in the making of this unnecessarily dramatic farm update. The shoe, however, has retained counsel.