10/25/2026
Oh, you wanted a light, sensible plant-based lunch? Wrong address.
Behold: the Brick City Thick City. 🧱🌭
We handcrafted a wholesome garbanzo bean and carrot dog, looked at it for two seconds, and said, "Needs more chaos."
So we dumped an entire sauté pan of grilled peppers and onions on top, dropped an avalanche of crispy fried potatoes on that, and doused the wreckage in vegan ranch because impulse control is for other caterers.
Yes, it’s 100% vegan. No, your cardiologist won't care. It’s got the structural density of actual Newark masonry, requires a jaw unhinging technique usually reserved for pythons, and eating it in front of anyone you respect is a massive mistake.
Plants have officially stopped playing nice. Come grab one and clear your afternoon schedule. 🌱🥔💥