Real Whole Farmer Girl, LLC

Real Whole Farmer Girl, LLC Total illegitimate farmer �
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01/09/2024

I’m not gonna lie, it’s pretty scary out here right now. In a neighborhood you have houses to block some of the wind, out here we have nothing. A chicken tractor flew across the pasture and almost hit my car… and the wind is really picking up. Now the trampoline… 😳

01/09/2024

Moogan Wallen got moved to the barn yesterday in preparation for the storm that is hitting us today. Is it just me or does he have just a little too much pep in his step?! 🤪

I think he’s excited to get a break from the pigs, they are not bffs.

I wanted to bring him inside to keep him super safe, but the party p**per in this video said something ridiculous like cows don’t belong in the house. 🙄 So we compromised and he’s in the barn.

Pray for everyone that is in the path of this storm, let’s pray that the winds aren’t as bad as they are calling for and that no tornadoes touch down anywhere. Pray for the safety of all people and animals in its path. 🙏🏼

Also if anyone wants to send me truck loads of dirt, a kayak to get around the farm on, or a massive pump to pump out the water that would be super great.

01/08/2024

Vote on what you think I’m looking at through the thermal scope.

A. A fox
B. A deer
C. A deer being stalked by something
D. A bobcat
E. A group of raccoons having a dance party

And yes, I stand on business in my pink pig slippers.

They say that if you pass out in your chicken coop that eventually your chickens will eat you. Well, I’m fairly certain ...
01/07/2024

They say that if you pass out in your chicken coop that eventually your chickens will eat you. Well, I’m fairly certain that this flock would like to eat me as a stand right now. 🤦🏼‍♀️

This mornings feed was rushed, like I was running feeding everyone. Shouting good morning, have a good day, and I love you as I ran past throwing food at one group and onto the next. Typically I take my time, and when my husband and I feed together he tries his best to be patient with me as I sing songs to each animal, snuggle them, some willing and some not. I give kisses and ask how they slept, tell them each they are my favorite and make them promise not to tell the others.

But this morning there was no time for any of that. I had to hurry because we had to be at church, and it was just me trying to feed everyone and get the kids out the door and at church on time. And in that rush I messed up….

This little coop here has this amazing door, it’s one of a kind. You take that there drill and screw up that sheet of plywood and boom… chickens are safe. (Patent pending) well, I may have forgotten to unscrew the plywood and let the chickens out this morning… and I may have only just noticed at almost 3pm. 😳

Luckily it’s not summertime, and they are all still alive. The angry birds all came out scolding me and went straight to the feed. I apologized profusely and then came inside to hide in shame. Unfortunately they have really good memories… maybe I should make them a super awesome treat to make up for it? 🤔

Y’all caption this. 🤣🤣
01/07/2024

Y’all caption this. 🤣🤣

Happy Saturday friends!! It’s raining… again. I’m excited about that you know since we are still flooded from the last t...
01/06/2024

Happy Saturday friends!!

It’s raining… again. I’m excited about that you know since we are still flooded from the last two rains. 🙄 One day I’m going to figure out how to harvest all this water and become rich…

Until then let’s all enjoy this picture of the cutest boy that ever lived and try to forget about the rain. 😍

In case anybody was wondering what I was doing as a teenager..I was chillen in my living room which was also my bedroom ...
01/05/2024

In case anybody was wondering what I was doing as a teenager..

I was chillen in my living room which was also my bedroom of what looked like a hoarders trailer, (cue my lifelong OCD) dialing up on my giant computer, with a chicken on my shoulder. And yes, that is the man that you’d technically call my father, although I don’t call him that, smoking just a few feet from me… and either my mom or my sister with another chick hanging out on the couch. Ahhhh… the good ole days. 🤣

Thankfully my living situation has changed, but somethings don’t change… you’ll still find me most of the time snuggling some type of animal, chicken or anything else. Except Ted Bundy… I still don’t understand why he refuses my love! 🐂

01/04/2024

These pigs just do whatever they want. 🤦🏼‍♀️

First the left their original pen and went in with the cows.

Now I suppose they are sick of that, or they were like I smell a GIRL over there… and now they have joined the three little pigs in their pasture.

I suppose it’s better than free ranging the entire farm. 🤷🏼‍♀️🤣

01/03/2024

Farm friends….

Who’s got cows and can chat with me? Got a question about Moogan Wallen.

My friend over at Black Willow Farm shared this the other day and I giggled because do we ever really keep these?! I kno...
12/31/2023

My friend over at Black Willow Farm shared this the other day and I giggled because do we ever really keep these?! I know I’ve never been that good at it!

Then I realized that I have been so busy with the holidays that I haven’t even thought of any casual promises to myself for this year that I most likely won’t keep. My husband would say that I should make a resolution to stop getting animals, but he’s just silly so we aren’t accepting his opinion.

What are your New Year resolutions this year? I’m asking because I’m curious… and I need some ideas. 🤪

12/30/2023

I’ve always had big visions for the farm, hopes that one day it would be able to provide my family an income along with the happiness it already provides us. But tonight I realized I don’t need to worry about my financial stability anymore!!

Why you ask? That’s because my oldest daughter revealed her hidden talent… rapping for our Lord. I mean honestly, she’s gonna make it big time and take care of her momma and daddy I just know it.

A few months ago she along with her sister blessed us with a few songs about farts, which were actually quite catchy tunes and could be big hits. But I’m so glad we changed the topic of the songs.

Y’all let me know if you want autographs before she hits it big time.

I’m a surrogate mom. Which is ironic considering I’m completely infertile and lost my uterus a few years ago. 🤪🤣I’ve hat...
12/29/2023

I’m a surrogate mom. Which is ironic considering I’m completely infertile and lost my uterus a few years ago. 🤪🤣

I’ve hatched quite a few chickens in this bad boy, but now I am attempting ducks. And not for me, but for the cutest little boy ever. This little boy loves coming to the farm to visit Jessico, or as he calls him Jessico the fat king. So when Jessico’s wife, Quack Sparrrow laid her first eggs I knew what I had to do.

We are praying that these eggs hatch and we have mini Jessico’s to give to him. I suppose we will know in about 25 days!! Wish us luck. 🐣

This beauty lives in the woods on my road. It stayed put long enough for us to have a chat, and get lots of pictures and...
12/28/2023

This beauty lives in the woods on my road. It stayed put long enough for us to have a chat, and get lots of pictures and videos. I asked if it wanted to snuggle, it politely declined. Maybe one day it will change its mind. 🤷🏼‍♀️ 🥹

12/26/2023

Update…

I did not get a girl donkey for Christmas. I know, huge disappointment for all of us. 😔

But it’s okay, because I got this very thoughtful gift from someone unexpected. I was so surprised!! 🤪

ITS CHRISTMAS!!!! 🎄🔔✝️🎅🏼Merry Christmas from our farm family to your family! We hope you have a very blessed holiday wit...
12/25/2023

ITS CHRISTMAS!!!! 🎄🔔✝️🎅🏼

Merry Christmas from our farm family to your family!

We hope you have a very blessed holiday with your families.

I hope you all enjoyed the Christmas countdown with some of my favorite animals, should we do one for spring?? I wonder if I have enough animals!! 🤪

Mommie please let me out! I promise I won’t hurt them! All the other times were accidents, misunderstandings… I just wan...
12/24/2023

Mommie please let me out! I promise I won’t hurt them!

All the other times were accidents, misunderstandings…

I just wanna give them kisses and snuggle them. Maybe play a little. But not like a rough play, just a simple polite game.

It’s called gently catch the turkey. It’s fine, they’ll love it. Okay good… OPEN THE DOOR NOW!!

Moogan Wallen, the cutest boy that ever lived told me to tell yall that you only have ONE DAY left until Christmas!!! GE...
12/24/2023

Moogan Wallen, the cutest boy that ever lived told me to tell yall that you only have ONE DAY left until Christmas!!!

GET EXCITED PEOPLE!!!

12/23/2023

New predator unlocked.

If I thought I despised foxes, well I despise this bobcat even more.

It’s smarter, more determined, and more evasive.

It came three times last night and attempted to get my ducks. Each time we went out and tried to eliminate it, it just disappeared. P**f.. gone. Invisible. We spent hours playing this game and we finally gave up.

We locked the ducks up in the coop and went to bed.

I woke up this morning to find that it had returned, but not to the same coop. But why would it? It was obviously somewhere watching us and saw us lock up the ducks so it moved on to a new coop.

It climbed up, and inside and grabbed beaky… one of the sweetest chickens. I hatched her and raised her, loved that dang chicken. She had a crossbeak so I had to give her extra attention and clean her beak with a toothbrush.

Im pretty mad about this, but I’m also very thankful that the ducks alerted us last night and we were able to keep them safe. If we hadn’t, they would all be dead and I would be even more upset.

I know it’s cold, and they are hungry… but predators suck.

Who’s that there? Why it’s the three little pigs coming to tell you that there are TWO days left until Christmas!! They ...
12/23/2023

Who’s that there? Why it’s the three little pigs coming to tell you that there are TWO days left until Christmas!!

They have asked for snacks and butt scratches, I think Santa can handle that!

12/23/2023

Well, we have a new friend on the farm. Yay. 🙄

SirLoin says hey guys guess what?!! Only THREE days left until Christmas!!! He’s just happy nobody is eating him for Chr...
12/22/2023

SirLoin says hey guys guess what?!! Only THREE days left until Christmas!!!

He’s just happy nobody is eating him for Christmas. 🤪

12/21/2023

Putting my ducks to bed. 🦆😴

Biggs came to tell y’all that there are FOUR days left until Christmas!! 😱She definitely made it on the nice list, and t...
12/21/2023

Biggs came to tell y’all that there are FOUR days left until Christmas!! 😱

She definitely made it on the nice list, and the cutest girl ever list. 😍

Everybody stop what you are doing!! I have a very important matter that requires your attention!!! We had a gingerbread ...
12/21/2023

Everybody stop what you are doing!! I have a very important matter that requires your attention!!!

We had a gingerbread building competition this evening, and we need YOU to be the judge. Please vote on your favorite gingerbread house so we can pick a winner.

I still haven’t been made aware of what the prize is, but I don’t care too much because we laughed SO hard building these!!

Ted Bundy said to tell yall that there are only FIVE days left until Christmas! He also said that he doesn’t care at all...
12/20/2023

Ted Bundy said to tell yall that there are only FIVE days left until Christmas!

He also said that he doesn’t care at all. And that if I tried to put any of that Christmas costume crap on him that he was going to jump the fence and chase me into the pond. His words, not mine. 🤷🏼‍♀️

(The headband was on him for about 2.5 seconds before he flung it across the pasture, almost taking my arm with it. He’s a nice fella. 🙄)

**poohead

12/20/2023

Raise your hand if you are going to have nightmares because you had a fox standing in your front pasture screaming and you thought it was a cougar and you were about to get eaten alive but it was just a fox calling for a lover because it’s breeding season but it’s still super creepy and you want a thermal scope for Christmas so you can pew pew it at nighttime and not have to hear that creepy screaming again. Anybody?? Oh, just me?? 🙋🏼‍♀️😳🦊😱

Also don’t judge my video taking skills. It’s hard to hold a weapon, a camera, and a giant flashlight. Please enjoy the sound of my people. Sleep tight. 😳

12/19/2023

My husband took my daughter’s Christmas shopping for me last night. So sweet. 😍

Only problem is he took them to Walmart and I asked for a girl donkey.. I go there a lot and I’ve never seen one sold there so that’s weird. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Maybe they know a secret that I don’t.

Whiskey Lou says hey guys guess what?!! SIX days left until Christmas!! She doesn’t want chicken anymore since she is in...
12/19/2023

Whiskey Lou says hey guys guess what?!! SIX days left until Christmas!!

She doesn’t want chicken anymore since she is in recovery, she just wants chicken p**p!! 🤣

12/18/2023

Those little cutesy Instagram post make farming look glamorous. It’s not.

This is what I just spent almost three hours doing, cleaning out my ditches because my farm is flooded and the ditches are clogged. I’m not even halfway done, but my back is a million percent done. 🤣

I’ve got the front part flowing great now, and I’ll go back out tomorrow to finish working the rest. I’ll tell you this much, I sure don’t need a gym membership anymore! 🤣💪🏼

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Summerville
Summerville, SC

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