26/09/2026
Proverbial travels
I know that times are a’changing. Why, we used to hear a lot about the proverbial “you’ve come to the fork in the road”. There were also a lot of jokes about forks in the road back then. I haven’t heard one in years. I don’t think that the highway department likes forks anymore.
Then years ago, an invited and noted leader or conference speaker who was glassy eyed and thinking into the future with inspirational thoughts used to say proverbial things like “we’re now at the crossroads of life and we have to decide our future”. I never knew just what one of those proverbial crossroads of life looked like compared to the ones around here: Ebenezer Crossroads, Saylors Crossroads, McCoys Crossroads… There is even a Crossroads Community (no family name attached) up in Oconee County.
But this a’changing deal is on us again. It seems that the schools are teaching the new math or something and folks no longer know to stop at crossroads and look left, right, left. That new math apparently does not teach them that someone might be coming from the other direction. When there is a wreck, the paramedic has to turn on the lights and siren, stomp the accelerator and drive to the scene like a bat out of Belton and then the ambulance, fire truck and law enforcement folks have to follow ASAP.
I honestly think that the paramedics must be NASCAR drivers on the weekends. Look out Spot and Fluffy if you are trying to cross the road and the paramedic is going to a wreck over at the “Beer and Deer”. That’s what we call the store over towards Iva at the crossroads because the crossroads never had a name and the store used to have deer cooler and sells…. We already know that the possums have a poor track on road crossings and the chicken is still crossing for unknown reasons. Maybe the proverbial chicken crossed the road to avoid the paramedic, ambulance, fire truck and the high sheriff. Whatever. Those possums just can’t win.
But I have great news! A cure has been found for only a bit over a million dollars each: Traffic circles! I just wonder if we will ever have proverbial traffic circles. I don’t get to many speaking events anymore to hear the futurist, gifted, noted, glassy eyed keynote guest speaker key me in on the years ahead. If I did get invited and I did go and if they served green peas that resemble hard chinaberries with dry slices of chicken breast covered in gravy of an unknown origin, store bought rolls and cake and we washed it all down with weak iced tea… would the speaker who is both futuristic and proverbial say “our future is before us and we are coming to the traffic circle of our lifetime. Which way will YOU (pointing to the crowd) go?” Man, that would be a deep thought!
We’ve even replaced the banquets and invited speakers with zoom meeting and webinars. You can sit at home in your PJs, drink herbal tea out of a mason jar, yell to tell the kids to shut up (speaker has to get folks to mute themselves and then continue) and there are no chinaberries and dry chicken to prepare. At least we can save some on gas money.
Back to the travel discussion, I have to tell you that I think that traffic circles work because people are confused and confounded by them. Is Bubba gonna try to get around it on two wheels (Hey ya’ll…watch DIS!), can I get me, my truck and trailer around it with jarring the teeth out of the cattle in the trailer by tilting on the sloped curbs a time or two, will I get dizzy if I miss my turn and have to go around again…? There is a lot to consider on this modern proverbial and everyday traffic circle stuff. If I had taken some of that new math, maybe it would be easier. Whatever happened to those good ol’ days and the good ol’ math?
In the meanwhile, just keep eat your tater chips and drinking your coke as you drive down the road and don’t worry if anyone is coming in the other direction at any sort of road junctions. You might get to skip the proverbial fork, proverbial crossroads or proverbial traffic circle and get straight to your final resting place and join the many possums. That would be the proverbial dead end.