08/08/2026
The Weight of Forgiveness
There is something I need to tell you that may completely change the way you think about forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not about setting the person who hurt you free.
Itās about setting yourself free.
Because every time we refuse to forgive, we unknowingly pick up another link in a chain. One link is bitterness. Another is anger. Another is betrayal. Another is resentment. Then comes jealousy, confusion, disappointment, and hurt.
Before long, those chains become so heavy that we can barely move forward.
The heartbreaking part is that the person who hurt us often has no idea weāre carrying them.
They continue living their lives while weāre the ones weighed down.
Satan loves that.
Because if he canāt destroy your faith, heāll try to distract your faith. Heāll convince you to replay conversations, relive betrayal, question peopleās motives, and rehearse the hurt over and over until it becomes part of your identity.
Jesus wants something completely different. He wants freedom.
This past year has been one of the hardest years our family has ever walked through.
Out of respect for everyone involved, Iāve never shared the details publicly, and I donāt intend to. But I can tell you thisā¦
We felt betrayed.
We were angry.
We were confused.
We were hurt.
We watched selfish choices ripple through the lives of others. We wrestled with disappointment, and there were moments when it would have been much easier to hold on to the hurt than to release it.
Then came our mission trip to Linefork, Kentucky.
On one of the very first days, before our team began serving, we stopped at a beautiful historic chapel. We werenāt there because we had to be.
We went because we wanted to make sure all of our hearts were in the right place for this trip.
Soft worship music filled the room.
The chapel was quiet.
It was one of those moments where you can almost feel Godās presence surrounding you.
So I prayed.
āLord, show me exactly what I need to lead this team well.ā
I honestly expected Him to point me toward leadership.
Maybe courage.
Maybe wisdom.
Maybe servant-heartedness.
Insteadā¦
He pointed me toward forgiveness.
When I opened my Bible, the Holy Spirit led me directly to Colossians 3.
Not one verse.
The whole passage.
Paul writes:
āMake allowance for each otherās faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.ā
ā Colossians 3:13 (NLT)
I remember thinkingā¦
āYouāve got to be kidding me.ā
Really, Lord?
Leadership advice?
Nope!
A reminder that I still hadnāt forgiven.
I wasnāt looking for a lesson on forgiveness.
I wanted direction.
God gave me freedom instead.
So I prayed again.
I prayed for God to help me forgive those who had caused so much pain.
I prayed for those who lacked Godly leadership.
I prayed for those who made selfish decisions without considering how their choices would affect everyone else.
I prayed for healing.
But more than anythingā¦
I prayed for God to remove the weight I had been carrying.
Because somewhere in that quiet chapel, God gently showed me something I had completely missed.
I had said, āI forgive them.ā
But I hadnāt actually let it go.
There is a difference.
Sometimes our mouths forgive long before our hearts do. And many times itās a process where you have to forgive over and over again.
I had prayed about it.
Talked about it.
Thought I had dealt with it.
Yet I was still carrying it.
And God lovingly reminded meā¦
You cannot carry what Jesus already died to carry.
Forgiveness does not mean what happened was okay.
Forgiveness does not excuse sin.
Forgiveness does not remove consequences.
Forgiveness does not always restore trust.
Sometimes healthy boundaries still need to exist.
Sometimes reconciliation isnāt possible.
But forgiveness says,
āGod, I refuse to become a prisoner to someone elseās sin.ā
Romans 12:19 reminds us:
āNever take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God.ā
In other wordsā¦
Justice belongs to God.
Healing belongs to God.
Conviction belongs to God.
My responsibility is obedience.
Peter once asked Jesus,
āHow many times should I forgive? Seven times?ā
Jesus answered,
āNot seven times, but seventy times seven.ā
He wasnāt giving Peter a number.
He was giving him a lifestyle.
A heart that continually releases offenses back into Godās hands.
Why?
Because thatās exactly what Jesus has done for us.
Think about it.
Every lie.
Every selfish decision.
Every sinful thought.
Every act of rebellion.
Every moment we chose ourselves over God.
Jesus looked at all of itā¦
ā¦and still chose the cross.
While nails pierced His hands, He prayed,
āFather, forgive them.ā
If the sinless Son of God could pray for the people who were actively crucifying Himā¦
How can I refuse to forgive someone who hurt me?
Thatās one of the hardest questions weāll ever wrestle with.
Hereās what I know today.
The people who hurt us may never understand the pain they caused.
They may never apologize.
They may never acknowledge it.
They may never change.
But my obedience to Christ is not dependent on their response.
Itās dependent on mine.
I donāt forgive because theyāve earned it. I forgive because Jesus extended forgiveness to me when I hadnāt earned it either.
That day in Kentucky, sitting in that little chapel, God didnāt just prepare me to lead a mission trip. He prepared my heart to walk in freedom.
He reminded me that if I wanted to lead others closer to Jesusā¦
I first had to let Jesus carry the burden I was still trying to hold.
And can I tell you something?
There was incredible peace in finally laying it down. Not because everything was suddenly fixed.
Not because all the hurt disappeared overnight. But because I stopped carrying what was never mine to carry.
Maybe today youāre carrying your own chains.
Maybe someone betrayed you.
Maybe someone lied about you.
Maybe someone walked away.
Maybe someone abused your trust.
Maybe someone wounded your family.
Friend, hear meā¦
Forgiveness isnāt saying they were right.
Forgiveness is saying that Jesus is greater than what they did.
Itās choosing freedom over bitterness.
Peace over resentment.
Healing over revenge.
Itās placing the burden into nail-scarred hands that are far stronger than yours.
Because hereās the truth.
Unforgiveness keeps us chained to our past.
Forgiveness allows Christ to lead us into our future.
So todayā¦
Lay down the chains.
Leave justice with God.
Trust Him with the healing.
And walk in the freedom that Jesus purchased for you on the cross.
Because forgiveness was never about freeing the offender.
It was always about freeing the child of God who was carrying the weight.
