05/07/2023
When I was a kid my favorite toys were just basic plastic farm animals. I’d lay in the living room floor or my bedroom floor for hours. Building animal pens with toy fencing. I realized today that I never really grew up. That I‘m now an adult living out a childhood fantasy.
Where raised beds once sat, I finished clearing off with the tractor. There were stacks of terracotta pipe (we’ve got a flower bed planned for them), a stack of 139 brick (we’ve got a second flower bed planned for those as well), and a small pile of flat river rock (going to use those for a small pond for the ducks). The next step is to build two 10’ x 10’ breeding pens for Bielefelder chickens and Blue Andalusian chickens.
I can’t help but think how many people spend there days playing video games or hiding inside. While some people see a large amount of work, I see a large amount of therapy. I enjoy working, I enjoy finding difficult tasks and overcoming them. It gives me purpose as well as time to just get lost in my own little world.
Tearing down those raised beds wasn’t easy physically, emotionally it was even harder. So many memories of how as a kid my papa would take us fishing. There’s an old bedding fork that is still here. On one end of the front bed is where he would compost table scraps. He’d take that bedding fork or a shovel and turn the dirt over in that end of the raised bed. We’d catch enough worms and off to the cow pond across the road we’d go.
Cleaning up around here has never been easy. Just an unlimited number of compound tasks often times relatable to the Hydra in Greek mythology. Every head that gets cut off three more grow in its place. Often times letting go of material items are so incredibly hard. Clearing away the garden beds opened the door to something else that has needed to happen for the last 4 years that we’ve lived here. It now makes it possible to get the dump trailer behind the house so that we can clean the basement out. Each big step is nothing more than a baby step in the reality of moving forward.
I’m sure there are some family that would have liked for this house and property to have remained the way it always was as a shrine to my grandparents. That in itself is an impossible task as well. But we just keep going hopefully one day everyone can see what I see when it comes to this old house.