Gray House Pies

06/17/2026

Statistically speaking, most dads don’t want another belt.

They want crumbs on their shirt and fruit in their teeth.

They want Gray House Pies.
Handmade. Honest. And won’t be returned in the shrink wrap.

Celebrate Dad with something flaky and golden—just like his high school mustache.

Click here for event details from Gray House Pies!

06/16/2026

What do you get the man who taught you about cars, life, and the value of duct tape?

You get him pie.
Because pie doesn’t ask questions. Pie doesn’t judge.
Pie forgives.

Gray House Pies: Real pie, for real dads, with real back hair.

Gift card

Click here for an update from Gray House Pies!

06/15/2026

Father’s Day is nearly here, and nothing says “I deeply respect the man who raised me” like a thick wedge of pie with no intention of sharing.

Did Dad teach you to throw a baseball?
Fix a leaky faucet?
Pretend to know how taxes work?

Then he deserves something better than another tie. He deserves lemon meringue justice.

Order a pie from Gray House Pies. You’ll look thoughtful. He’ll get dessert. Everyone wins.

Gift card

Click here for an update from Gray House Pies!

06/15/2026

Hey, remember last year when you gave Dad that “World’s Best Father” mug and called it a day?
Yeah, so does he. It's holding pens now.

This year, let's aim higher. Let’s aim flaky. Let’s aim delicious, handmade, award-questionably-winning pie from Gray House Pies.

Dads want pie. Dads need pie. Dads deserve pie.

Gray House Pies: It’s like a hug for his face.

Gift card

Click here for an update from Gray House Pies!

06/12/2026

PIZZA DAY HAS ARRIVED
A sentence that should probably be a national holiday.

Before we get into the important news, a quick reminder:
🍕 DETROIT PIZZA
🍕 TODAY
🍕 5–7 PM

Now then...
Last week you bought pizzas faster than we could make them.
Which is both flattering and mildly terrifying.
As a result, we have taken decisive action.
We bought more pizza pans.
A lot more.
Why are more pans important?
Because Detroit pizza is a strange and wonderful creature.
The short version is that more pans means more pizzas.
The long version involves fermentation schedules, thermal mass, pan inventory management, and a whiteboard covered in equations.
We'll explain it in another email someday.
For now, just know that the fleet has expanded.
---
But that's not the big news.
The big news is that sometime between Jennifer's feedback, Pie Man's distraction with pepperoni rolls, and a general breakdown in management oversight...
we made a last-minute decision.

**The Jennifer Amendment
has been liberated.**
Tonight it applies to ALL pizzas.
That's right.
Any pizza.
Every pizza.
You don't want sauce?
Fine.
You want a little extra oil instead?
Also fine.
To make your pizza dreams of no sauce a reality, starting tonight
Simply walk in and say:
**"Give my pizza the Jennifer Amendment."**
And p**f.
The sauce disappears.
Just like that.
---
Now, full disclosure:
Pie Man does not understand any of this.
His position remains:
*"People buy EXTRA sauce because the sauce is so good. This makes no sense."*
A fair point.
But fortunately he became distracted by pepperoni rolls.
And sausage rolls.
And pepperoni roll theories.
And sausage roll theories.
And whatever notebook he's currently scribbling into.
As a result, he is not fully aware that the Jennifer Amendment has escaped containment and is now available for all pizzas tonight.
Who knows what happens next week?
He may put the kibosh on such nonsense.
He may restore order.
He may convene an emergency meeting of the Pizza Theorem Committee.
For now...
freedom reigns.
---
Tonight's lineup:
🍕 Cheese
🍕 Pepperoni
🍕 Gary's Surprise
🍕 Gary's Cuz Dave
🍕 Garlic Bomb
🍄 Wild Mushroom & White Truffle Oil
🍄 Wild Mushroom & White Truffle Oil
**Jennifer Amendment Edition**
And if you're feeling adventurous, you can apply the Jennifer Amendment to any of the above.
History is happening.
---
So start making plans.
Tell the family.
Text your friends.
Cancel whatever questionable dinner plan was developing.
Announce proudly:
**"Tonight we're getting pizza at Gray House Pies."**
We'll be ready.
See you at 4:59.
—Gray House Pies

Click here for an update from Gray House Pies!

06/11/2026

🇺🇸 THE JENNIFER AMENDMENT 🇺🇸

Every now and then someone changes the course of history.

Last week, that person was Jennifer.

Jennifer ordered the Wild Mushroom & White Truffle Oil Pizza and suggested that perhaps it didn’t need sauce.

Now, many people have had this thought.

Jennifer had the courage to say it out loud.

And because this nation was founded on bold ideas and spirited debate, we listened.

The result is:

THE JENNIFER AMENDMENT

A simple request.

A profound consequence.

A mushroom pizza.
No sauce.
No questions.

In a further expansion of pizza liberty, the Amendment now applies to ANY pizza on the menu.

Cheese.
Pepperoni.
Gary’s Surprise.
Gary’s Cuz Dave.
Garlic Bomb.
Wild Mushroom & White Truffle Oil.

Want it without sauce?

Simply declare:

“Give me the Jennifer Amendment.”

Pie Man remains unconvinced.

His official position is:

“People buy extra sauce. Why would they remove it?”

Fortunately, he’s distracted by pepperoni roll experiments and has not yet discovered what we’ve done.

Friday.
5–7 PM.

Walk in.
Claim your pizza.
Exercise your rights.

🍕

06/11/2026

THE JENNIFER AMENDMENT

Every now and then a citizen steps forward and changes history.

Last week, that citizen was Jennifer.

Jennifer ordered the Wild Mushroom & White Truffle Oil Pizza and observed that while it was excellent, perhaps—just perhaps—it might be even more excellent without sauce.

Now many people have thoughts.

Few people have the courage to share them.

Jennifer shared hers.

And because America was founded on bold ideas, spirited debate, and occasionally questioning pizza orthodoxy, we listened.

The result is what historians will someday refer to as:

The Jennifer Amendment™

The same Wild Mushroom & White Truffle Oil Pizza.

No sauce.

Just mushrooms.
Cheese.
Truffle oil.
And freedom.

Pie Man remains skeptical.

His official position is:

“People buy EXTRA sauce. Why would anyone remove it?”

But great progress has often faced resistance.

So this Friday, if you’d like your mushroom pizza with no sauce, simply request:

“The Jennifer Amendment.”

In an even more shocking development, we’ve temporarily extended Amendment rights to the entire pizza menu.

That’s right.

Any pizza.

No sauce.

Just say the words.

Whether this freedom survives beyond this Friday remains unclear.

Pie Man is busy with pepperoni roll experiments and has not yet realized what we’ve done.

Use this knowledge wisely.

Friday.
5–7 PM.

Walk in.
Claim your pizza.

And perhaps honor a great American while you’re at it.

🇺🇸🍕🍄‍🟫

PizzaFreedom NoSauceNoProblem PieManDisapproves WalkInPizza PizzaNight

06/11/2026

A PIE MAN UPDATE

Pie Man was perfectly happy making Detroit-style pizza.

Then somebody left him alone with a buttermilk pie.

That was a mistake.

For those unfamiliar, buttermilk pie is an old Southern classic. Simple ingredients. Humble origins. The sort of pie that survived generations because it was dependable and delicious.

Naturally, Pie Man looked at this sensible piece of American history and immediately started adding things.

First chocolate.

Then pistachios.

Then pistachio cream.

Then more chocolate.

At no point did anyone intervene.

The result is this Chocolate Buttermilk Pistachio Pie.

It is rich.
It is creamy.
It is crunchy.
It is completely unconcerned with moderation.

Quite honestly, if buttermilk pie had a reckless cousin, this would be it.

Available this week.

Until Pie Man gets distracted by pizza again.

pie ohioeats dessertfirst pieobsession weekendsarepiefordays

06/11/2026

Most people see a problem and do nothing.
They grumble quietly.
They tell their spouse.
They mention it to a friend.
Then they move on with life.
Not Jennifer.
Jennifer looked at our Wild Mushroom & White Truffle Oil Pizza and said something that others may have been thinking but lacked the courage to say:
*"Shouldn't this be a white pizza?"*
Now, to be clear...
Jennifer immediately followed this statement by admitting that the pizza was amazing exactly as it was.
But that's not the point.
The point is that she asked the question.
She challenged convention.
She spoke truth to pizza.
And because of that courage,
history was made.

So we are reminding everyone:

This Friday we proudly introduce
# # 🍄 THE JENNIFER AMENDMENT
Wild Mushroom & White Truffle Oil
**NO SAUCE.**
A simple idea.
A powerful idea.
An idea whose time had come.
---
As America approaches its 250th birthday, it is worth remembering that this nation was built by people willing to stand up and say:
"What if we tried it this way?"
That spirit gave us democracy.
It gave us electricity.
It gave us air conditioning.
And now...
it has given us a mushroom pizza without sauce.
The arc of history bends toward progress.
---
Some may ask:
"Was Jennifer the only person who ever thought of this?"
Perhaps not.
History is filled with unnamed heroes who had good ideas but never acted on them.
But Jennifer stepped forward.
She did not hesitate.
She did not waver.
She did not say:
"Someone else will probably mention it."
She carried the burden herself.
For all of us.
---
So this Friday, when you walk in for Pizza Night, you will have a choice.
The original Wild Mushroom & White Truffle Oil Pizza.
Or...
The Jennifer Amendment.
A bold reimagining of the American pizza experiment.
A testament to civic engagement.
A monument to constructive feedback.
A reminder that one person truly can make a difference.
---
This Friday's lineup:
🍕 Cheese
🍕 Pepperoni
🍕 Gary's Surprise
🍕 Gary's Cuz Dave
🍕 Garlic Bomb
🍄 Wild Mushroom & White Truffle Oil
🍄 The Jennifer Amendment
(Wild Mushroom & White Truffle Oil — No Sauce)
Seven pizzas.
Which Pie Man still insists is approximately five too many.
---
Pizza Night
Friday • 5–7 PM
No preorders.
No holds.
Just freedom.
And mushrooms.
—Gray House Pies

Click here for an update from Gray House Pies!