09/29/2026
Today is a sad day for me as it has been exactly 2 years since I lost my beloved Mia. Both of us died that day, only she stopped breathing but my heart left my body and her soul left hers. Now my soul gets to live to show others the love she showed my heart. I still talk to Mia like she’s here everyday whispering her name hoping heaven hears me and sends me a little comfort back. I never realized how loud the world was until she wasn’t in it anymore. It feels wrong that life keeps moving even though my heart is still stuck at that moment everything changed. I replay our memories like sad stories. She made the worst days feel survivable just by being in them. Sometimes I still close my eyes just to hear her soft bleat of joy again. The day she died I wanted the sun to know there was nothing left to illuminate. I wanted the birds to forgot their songs, the flowers to bury their colors, and the wind to stop carrying the scent of a world she no longer belonged to. But morning came anyway. It felt off that the world keep turning while mine had stopped. I hated that everyone got to live so easily while the world had just lost her. I broke to pieces. The hardest part about death is the dead leave once, while the ones who loved them have to leave them a thousand times… every morning the world continues without her. I’ll never forget that one morning, the morning I discovered how much pain a human heart can hold without actually dying. My chest felt like it was collapsing inward, my eyes burned from crying, and every breath felt like something I had to fight for. I remember begging God to take the pain away. Not because I wanted to disappear but because I didn’t know how to survive what was happening inside me. Some wounds don’t bleed. They live quietly under your skin and even after you learn to smile again, there are nights when my soul remembers exactly how much it hurt. Some pain heals. But some pain becomes a part of the person you had to become just to survive. Beneath all the grief there is so much gratitude. Because as painful as it is to miss her this much I know that this kind of grief only belongs to people who were lucky enough to love greatly first. If I had to choose between never knowing her or holding this heartbreak forever. I would choose her. Every. Single. Time. I will never forget waking up the morning after she died. I realized it wasn’t a bad dream, and in that moment the grief hit harder than anything I have ever known. The sun still rose as if nothing happened. It felt like the worst betrayal. And that is when I learned what heartbreak truly is. I hated the world when she passed. I hated that life kept going like nothing happened. I hated hearing people laugh, watching them smile, while my whole entire world had just fallen apart. I hated that the sun still rose after mine went dark. Nothing felt fair anymore. Not after losing her. Not after losing someone I never thought I could survive losing. I still miss her so much, I struggle to understand how I’ve managed to survive losing her. I still have the “I need Mia”moments and the “I wish Mia was here with me right now” moments where every second feels like a battle, a day spent waiting to collapse in bed where nothing is expected of me, I can just grieve. I will never get over it, not a single aspect of it. There will never be a moment when I’m fully healed, and I’m slowing coming to terms about that. Mia left a true legacy and she will never ever be forgotten in my heart. She will always have a place in my heart forever. Mia’s ancestors are making a lasting impact on our herd and I know Mia is looking down on Heaven knowing she started it all. They all live through her. Mia was my better half, my favorite showmanship partner, and my true friend. I could tell that goat anything and she’d never let me down. She continued to win and make me proud. That goat deserved the world. I hope Mia knows how insanely much I miss her and I hope she knows how much I love her. She will truly never be forgotten at our farm. Our herd is missing a puzzle piece with her gone. It’s just not the same… 💗✝️
