09/24/2026
“I’ve been avoiding writing this post, but I’ve come to learn that the things that are hardest to write down are usually exactly the things that I need to write most. Maybe someday I’ll be ready to be more eloquent about it all, but today is not that day… ;).
Romy and Piper turned 9. How? It was hard to imagine carrying them both inside of me as tiny babies (and if you’ve been around for a while, you know I mean TINY), but it gets harder each year to believe that these beautiful, smart, kind, funny, TALL creatures came from my body. And because of that “tiny” start they had, so many things have felt like a celebration more than I think they would have. We celebrated the first time they pooped, each piece of equipment they didn’t need anymore to breathe, each mL of a bottle they drank on their own, and then finally the first time we got to hold them on our couch at home (writing that just made me cry, it was the best feeling in the world after months in the vinyl hospital chairs). And once we got home, everything felt worth celebrating. So when it came time for their first birthday, we had SO much to celebrate and threw a BIG party - family came to town, we invited all of our friends, our nurses from the hospital were there (crying again!) and what maybe in the past would have seemed to me to be silly - throwing a huge party for babies who’d have no memory of it - felt like the most special, important thing we could do. And I’ve just never known any other way to do it, the big parties have continued each year, and each year I’m more grateful for the way it comes together, the people who show up, and obviously, more than anything, the not-so-little girls we are all celebrating….
….And they were ending the night feeling like mistakes when they are absolute MIRACLES, beyond anything I ever thought could exist for me. And we started these parties to remember and celebrate that. The fact that this party left us all feeling so depleted and opposite from that was hard…”
Comment for a link to read the full post on Substack, also, ilysm