10/01/2026
Saying yes is easy. I love saying yes. Saying yes can mean feelings are spared. Saying yes can mean a relationship seems preserved. Saying yes can mean more dollars in my pocket. But it’s not always the right answer. Saying yes can mean that a rider does something beyond their ability and loses confidence, or gets hurt. Saying yes can mean a horse picks up a bad habit because the rider did more than they were ready for, and the horse is no longer suitable for its job. And saying yes can lead to a plateau or setback of a riders skills.
Saying no is hard. It’s hard to know that I may hurt someone’s feelings who thinks they are (or should be) farther along in their riding. It’s hard to say no when I know it might sour a relationship, if the rider doesn’t agree. It’s hard to say no when I know there’s a chance doing will lose me a client, because someone else might say yes.
But it’s my job to know when say no. It’s my job to keep every rider safe and help them build skills and confidence without sacrificing any of those things. And sometimes, saying no is the best way to do that. No, you’re not ready to canter yet. No, you’re not ready to jump higher yet. No, you’re not ready to jump an oxer yet.
Yet… the most important part. Yet is where we build the skills. Yet is where the fundamentals come in. Yet is what can feel tedious and slow, when riders want yes and now.
Riders (and parents) have the difficult job of having to trust the process without having the advantage that I do - I know how the story goes. I know that yes and no have alternate endings. Often times with horses, the slowest way is the fastest way to learn. Time, correct repetition, and the time it takes to learn to repeat it all correctly.
I promise, I have the best interest of every rider in mind.
I hate it every time I have to say no. But I hate it more when a rider gets scared, when a rider gets hurt, or when a horse is compromised.
Just because yes is easy, and enticing, doesn’t mean it’s the best or right choice.
So I say no. And then I say yet…