Half-Assed Homestead

06/27/2026

Just delivered my last batch of homemade blueberry syrup to Happy Fizz for our June collab! If you haven’t had a chance to try the blueberry drinks, this weekend is your final shot to catch her. 💙🩵

Thank you Lauren + Happy Fizz, for the fun opportunity to work together and supporting another local biz! I feel pretty confident this won’t be our last collaboration and look forward to doing something else creative together soon! 🏁🥤🫐👩🏼‍🌾

06/26/2026

We have two dozen eggs left in our egg cooler from this week 🙂 First person to buy a dozen can take our last Spring Simmer Pot kit for FREE!!!🌸

Also, straw bales are restocked 🌾

Here’s our current inventory otherwise—

IN STOCK:
•Eggs
•Magnesium Tallow Balm
•Tallow Sun Balm (Scented & New *Unscented* for extra sensitive skin!)
•Tallow Face Balm for Dry Skin
•Tallow Face Balm for Combination Skin
•Tallow Seasoning Wax
•All-Natural Room Spray “Relax” formula (50% off)
•Intention Candles
•Straw square bales

OUT-OF-STOCK:
•Tallow Balm for Working Hands
•Taco Seasoning
•Chicken Bouillon Seasoning
•All-Natural Room Spray “Uplift” formula
•Simmer Pot Kits (after someone grabs the free one)

Let me know if you have any questions, or any special orders or requests 🫶🏼

📍4265 Kidder Rd, Almont
Self serve stand, open daily sun up to sun down!

06/22/2026

It’s hard to believe our meat birds are already two weeks old! Another week (or two depending on the weather) and they will be big and feathered enough to be moved outside to pasture.

Have you signed up for the pre-order yet?

We have about 150 birds left that aren’t yet spoken for in this batch.

Birds are sold on a first-come, first-served basis with pick up being fresh from the butchery. Pre-order today to make sure you’re guaranteed your birds!

The order form is in the comments🫶🏼
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🌿All Natural, Pasture Raised, Non-GMO
🌽Fed high quality LOCAL + non-GMO grain
💙Humanely Raised
📍Local, Fresh & Free of Preservatives
💓No hormones, medications, or vax
🧼Processed in a clean, USDA butchery

🌾 Taste the flavorful & tender difference in birds that have had the option to move freely in the fresh air and graze on grasses & bugs as nature intended. Better for their health, your health, AND environmental health. 🌱

💰COST: $4.50/lb
⚖️AVERAGE WEIGHT: 6-7lbs
🗓️PICK UP: THURSDAY, JULY 30th, 6:30pm-8pm

📍LOCATION: Almont, MI
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💌Birds come whole & packaged in vacuum sealed bags, ready for freezer-safe storage.

*please note: chickens are coming straight from the processor and must be picked up in this time window.

06/20/2026

We had to leave the farmers market a little early so there are our homemade 🦴DOG BONES in the egg cooler!! 🐕 Today and tomorrow only!!

‼️**EGGS ARE SOLD OUT. Will be restocked tomorrow morning.**‼️

Here’s the current inventory otherwise—

IN STOCK:
•DOG BONES **limited time**
•Magnesium Tallow Balm
•Tallow Sun Balm (Scented & New *Unscented* for extra sensitive skin!)
•Tallow Face Balm for Dry Skin
•Tallow Face Balm for Combination Skin
•Tallow Seasoning Wax
•Spring Simmer Pot Kit (50% off)
•All-Natural Room Spray “Relax” formula (50% off)
•Intention Candles

OUT-OF-STOCK:
•Tallow Balm for Working Hands
•Taco Seasoning
•Chicken Bouillon Seasoning
•All-Natural Room Spray “Uplift” formula
•Eggs
•Straw square bales

Thanks again you guys! Let me know if you have any questions, or any special orders or requests 🫶🏼

06/20/2026

Oops, I forgot to mention—the farm stand is CLOSED today until 1pm because all of our stock is with us at the farmers market for a good cause!🦬

Come see us at the event if you need anything, otherwise the stand will be open as normal again after 1pm & tomorrow (Sunday) 🤎

06/20/2026

All set up at Marty's Place Farmer’s Market! We will be here until 1pm.

We have all of our tallow balms available, including sun screen. And a metric s**t ton of eggs!

Come on by!

06/19/2026

🐕 DOG BONES 🦴

At the last farmers market event we attended, I made and sold beef neck dog bones and they were a big hit so we made more to bring again tomorrow at Marty's Place!

Power chewers rejoice! Neck bones are softer and safer than other bones that may chip your dogs teeth. They are nutrient dense and full of natural calcium, phosphorus, and joint-supporting compounds like collagen and glucosamine.

Safely prepared in a slow dehydrated method, free of junk, and just the right amount of meaty morsels to make your dog’s day! Made from our own cattle.

This is something I can’t sell at the farm stand since they are made fresh and need to be either fed within a couple days or refrigerated. Come by the Marty’s Place Farmer’s Market and Open House to snag yours! 🐶

**PS: ALWAYS supervise your dog while they are enjoying any sort of dog bone.**

06/19/2026

Come see us Saturday at Marty's Place farmers market fundraiser! We will be selling our goodies again AND it’s the most magical time of year to visit because the elk will be swimming

Alright, friends!
We know you've all been waiting...

The elk are back to the water side for the summer! 🌞

And what perfect timing, as this Saturday is our second open house / Farmers Market event from 9:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m!

Come out, see the animals, and shop some of our local vendors.

NO RESERVATION NEEDED! 🥳
9-1pm
$9.00 per person 3+

Guests will park down the road (78488 Brown Rd) at our market and arrive via short hay ride to see the animals! 🦚🦌🦬

06/17/2026

Wowza…another weekend of selling out of things faster than I can make it. So here’s an updated list of what’s in stock and what isn’t so nobody wastes a trip looking for something.

As much as I could make mass quantities of my goodies, I truly believe it’s the small batches that keep quality above quantity. Not to mention, it ensures that everyone is getting the freshest product.

Whether it’s seasoning mixes or tallow balms, all of my goodies are shelf stable, however, they do still have a shelf life. Making things fresh & in small batches just feels right. My goal is to have everything restocked this week either in the stand or in time for Marty's Place farmers market this Saturday! 🦬

I have ONE Spring Simmer Pot kit left for 50% off (only $5). She needs a home before I roll out our Summer potpourri🌞 These rainy days this week are the perfect chance to cozy up with a simmer pot on!

I’m also working on a special request for a sun balm with NO essential oils in it, for extra sensitive skin.

Here’s the current inventory—

IN STOCK:
•Eggs (pasture raised $5/dozen)
•Tallow Face Balm for Dry Skin
•Tallow Face Balm for Combination Skin
•Tallow Balm for Working Hands
•Tallow Seasoning Wax
•Spring Simmer Pot Kits (50% off)
•All-Natural Room Spray “Relax” formula (50% off)
•Intention Candles
•Straw Square Bales *limited*

OUT-OF-STOCK:
•Taco Seasoning
•Chicken Bouillon Seasoning
•All-Natural Room Spray “Uplift” formula
•Magnesium Tallow Balm
•Tallow Sun Balm

Thanks again for supporting my lil side quest in this farm stand endeavor! Let me know if you have any questions, or any special orders or requests 🫶🏼

📍4265 Kidder Rd, Almont, MI
Self serve + open daily

06/15/2026

✨ Farm Stand Product Highlight ✨
Tallow HAND Balm for Working Hands🧴
👋🏽 FINALLY RESTOCKED, TOO!🫶🏼

Similar to our Tallow Face balm for dry skin, this formula contains CO2 extracted, cold-pressed coconut extract. NOT traditional coconut oil and NOT synthetic coconut fragrance. This special touch provides a fresh smell but also extra moisturizing & antioxidant properties to really tackle issues like dry, rough, scaly hands!

The hand balm formula also contains orange oil 🍊 which helps lock in hydration but also means vitamin C and antibacterial properties, perfect for sanitizing and healing minor cracks often found on busy hands.

All of our balms are made from tallow carefully rendered in small batches from suet that came from our own cattle. The rendering process is done slowly in my own kitchen, which is why you won’t smell the beefy smell that you find in commercially made products.

There’s no middle man. We know our cattle and we know how our suet was handled from life to processing to product.

Treat your hands better. Use an all-natural balm free of chemicals and preservatives—unlike most store-bought products that will actually just dry your hands out more or require frequent reapplication.

📍Half-Assed Homestead farmstand
4265 Kidder Rd, Almont, MI, 48003
Look for the BROWN roadside stand just East of all of the blue barns.

☀️Open Daily Sun Rise to Sunset