Fancy Farm Wife Mercantile

06/15/2026

06/09/2026

🚨 Tucker Update! 🚨

Tucker the Nigerian Pygmy goat has officially announced that he will NOT be attending this month’s Meat Raffle at Great Black Swamp Brewing Company.

Why? Because his new friends, Charlie and Candace the Boer goats, can’t travel, and someone has to stay home to supervise the party. 🐐🎉

Their plan? Snacks, music, and a little “while mom and dad are away, the goats will play” kind of evening. 😆

Meanwhile, Tucker wants to remind everyone that the best way to support Great Black Swamp Brewing is to pack the house for the Meat Raffle this Friday from 7-9 PM! Every ticket sold helps support a fantastic local business that supports our community.

So come one, come all! Enjoy a great night, win some meat, grab a drink, and help us keep Mom and Dad out of the house long enough for the goats to throw their party. 😉

📍 Great Black Swamp Brewing Company
2250 Tedrow Road, Toledo, OH
🕖 Friday | 7:00 PM - 9:00 PM

We’ll see you there… and Tucker, Charlie, and Candace will see you when the party stories start circulating. 😂🐐

06/07/2026

05/27/2026

Tucker is currently searching for a new best friend.

Before the rumors start — this is strictly platonic. He’s just looking for a buddy to hang out with around the farm.

We are specifically looking for:
• A pygmy goat or small breed goat
• Similar age/energy level
• Must NOT still be on the bottle
• Preferably something that will stay around Tucker’s size

Tucker enjoys:
• Snacks
• Farm patrol
• Random bursts of chaos
• Looking adorable enough to avoid consequences

Ideal candidate should enjoy:
• Fence line conversations
• Shared snack time
• Light trespassing activities
• Judging people together from across the pasture

If you know of a friendly little goat looking for a home and a built-in bestie, send me a message. Tucker’s friend applications are officially open.

05/23/2026

Now hiring for Fancy Farm Wife Mercantile: Warehouse Picker & Boxer.

Requirements include:
• Excellent box selection skills
• Ability to supervise inventory
• Comfortable working around mild chaos
• Willingness to climb on everything except the payroll

Tucker recently applied for the position and somehow used his cuteness to completely outweigh his orneryness during the interview process. Honestly, management folded immediately.

His current job duties include:
• Personally testing every box for structural integrity
• Supervising shipping operations from the top of the pile
• Creating additional work by knocking things over
• Making himself completely unfireable with his tiny face

At just six weeks old, Tucker has fully committed himself to the resale business life… or at least to the cardboard boxes.

Productivity may be down, but morale has never been higher. 🐐📦

05/19/2026

Tucker officially hit the 6-week milestone… and apparently decided that means he’s now a full-time mountain goat.

This tiny menace has been scaling things he absolutely should not be scaling, appearing in windows like a horror movie jump scare, and creating general farm mayhem at every opportunity. If there’s a place he shouldn’t be, Tucker has already been there twice.

We’re starting to think he believes he was born in the Swiss Alps instead of on an Ohio farm. One minute he’s innocent and adorable… the next he’s perched somewhere questionable plotting chaos.

Send help. Or snacks. Tucker accepts both.

05/13/2026

Great Black Swamp Brewing Company

05/01/2026

✨ A Sweet Surprise on the Farm ✨

After yesterday’s Tucker-level chaos (if you drove by Industrial Parkway… you already know 😅), today brought something truly special.

This afternoon around 4:00 PM, Hannah—our biggest mini zebu girl—welcomed a beautiful baby boy into the world. Everyone, meet Patrick Vernon Kurtz 🤎

Patrick is extra meaningful to us. He’s named in honor of our sweet little zebu momma, Pat, who we lost unexpectedly back in November. Not a day goes by that she isn’t missed, and this felt like the most fitting way to carry her memory forward.

Hannah did amazing, and proud papa Doc is already keeping a close eye on things. This is Hannah’s third calf here on our farm (and fourth overall)—she’s also the mama to our other zebu heifer, Gracie, who should be expecting her first calf any time now 🤍

Her last calf (another bull, who we still have for now!) will be heading to his new home soon.

If you remember, last year’s calf had a rough start in the cold, so we’re taking no chances this time. Heat lamps are up, straw is fresh, and baby Patrick is getting all the extra care to keep him warm and strong.

Some days on the farm test you… and some days remind you exactly why you do it. Today was one of those days 🤍

Welcome to the world, sweet Patrick