08/25/2026
šØ CASE CLOSED. šØ
Grover had a good run. Two seasons of tomato theft, trespassing and general garden mayhem.
Then the DeerBusters fence went up.
Weāre happy to report that in the battle of Grover vs. the garden fenceā¦ DeerBusters won. šš¦š±
The tomatoes can finally sleep peacefully at night. š
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Thanks to The Gorham Homestead for putting our fence to the ultimate test, and for taking us along for the ride!
WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE
Grover (Fugitive)
For two straight garden seasons, I have attempted to grow a garden.
For those same two garden seasons, my hard work has been absolutely decimated by one furry criminal.
At first, I wasnāt sure what was happening. I thought maybe squirrelsā¦ chipmunksā¦ maybe even deer. So I surrounded my garden with some unused electric poultry netting. I couldnāt charge it, but I figured if one layer was good, then two had to be better.
I thought I was brilliant.
The very next morning, I walked down to check my garden and there they were againā¦ beautiful, ripe tomatoes with exactly one bite taken out of each one. The rest were left lying on the ground like the calling card of a serial killer.
I was beside myself.
I looked around but didnāt see anything. Then I noticed a trail through the grass where something much bigger than a squirrel had crossed toward the woods. Whatever it was had slipped in and out without alerting even the dogsā¦ (two Great Pyrenees whose full-time job is protecting the chickens and patrolling the property at night).
Whoever this criminal wasā¦ he was good.
I decided I was going to catch him in the act.
The next morning, I got up before daylight and quietly made my way toward the garden. The sun was just beginning to creep over the hills as I tiptoed through the wet grass.
Then I saw it.
The green bean plants were moving.
Not blowing in the windā¦
Moving.
Something was in there.
I slowly stepped over the poultry netting and eased toward the row, not knowing what I was about to find.
Thatās when I spotted him.
A huge, furry groundhog.
We locked eyes.
I screamed.
Iām pretty sure he screamed too.
Then, just like that, he disappeared into the tall grass beside the garden. Gone.
By the time I got to the edge of the woods, all I could see was his fuzzy backside disappearing into the darkness.
Ladies and gentlemenā¦
Meet Grover.
This little outlaw kept up his reign of terror for weeks.
By the end of the summer, I looked like an absolute lunatic. Shotgun in one hand. Handgun on my hip. Marching around the garden like I was preparing for combat.
I set traps.
I left the dogs out longer.
I even tried grape bubble gum because somebody on the internet swore it was the ultimate weapon against groundhogs. Even my mama said soā¦
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing worked.
Every morning there were more tomatoes with one bite missingā¦ just enough to remind me who was really in charge.
Iām absolutely convinced Grover lives somewhere under the pile of old concrete along the wooded tree line in front of our house. The perfect hideout for a career criminal.
He outsmarted me every single time.
But this yearā¦
This year I built a wall. Wellā¦Kael actually put it up. I just checked on him occasionally. š
An eight-foot DeerBusters fence now surrounds the entire row garden. It has two walk-through gates, one drive-through gate, and itās secured tight to the ground.
Iām even considering installing tiny little defense cannons across the top that fire pre-chewed grape bubble gum.
Weāre not messing around anymore.
So, Groverā¦
Enjoy that last tomato.
Savor every
Single.
Bite.
Because your days of free produce are officially numbered.
šØWANTED šØ
Grover
Species: Groundhog
Charges: Criminal trespassing, destruction of property, serial tomato mutilation, and evading capture.
Last Seen: The Gorham Homestead Row Garden
Stay tuned to see who wins this yearās battleā¦ Grover or the new DeerBusters garden fence. One of us is about to lose. š
